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| with depression. it's hard to say that right now. I never thought this could be me, i always used to think something terrible would happen if i was diagnosed with depression. but as of now nothing has changed yet. they gave me some medicine that will start working in a few weeks.
i'm trying to remain hopeful
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| A few days ago, i broke down.
I was sick of quietly dying a little bit everyday. One night i got the courage and told my mom. I told her how i am tired of feeling nothing and how i forgot what it feels like to be happy, or even sad. all i feel is anger and stress. In November, i have an appointment for therapy, hopefully that will help me. I have hope for the first time in a long time, it feels good
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| You lied to me, and for some reason I'm not surprised either, but that doesn't make the pain any less. I was stupid to believe a word you said, all of you're "Mish, I'm not like any of those other assholes you wasted your time on." But oh silly stupid boy, little do you know, you're exactly like them. But i can't exactly blame you, and since you're new to this whole thing, what you did is called "blowing it" because you just missed out on someone who isn't your average girl. I never really realized this before, but I'm starting to realize it now.
I may not be the prettiest girl out there, but i have so much to offer to someone, somewhere, somehow. I may not know it yet, but one day i will. When that time comes i'll look back and laugh, thinking about how i even thought about wasting my time wtih you, and you'll look back wondering how you could have ever let me go.
I don't need you, i never did and i sure as hell never will.
From the best thing that ever happened to you,
Michelle
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| For the past 3 years i've been feeling this way, well i don't really know if it counts as even feeling something. All i know how to feel is nothing. I don't really remember what it feels like to be anything other than nothing. I rarley want to hangout with my friends anymore, all i wanna do is stay inside and listen to my music. I force myself do do sports and hangout with my friends. No matter how much sleep i'm getting, i always feel exausted and overwhelmed. My headaches are always there and they don't go away. Ive looked up what's wrong with me, and all that made sense was depression, well, teen depression since i'm only 15.
It all started when i was in middle school, and i was told everyday how worthless and horrible i was. After hearing something like that for a year everyday, you start to believe it and now thats exactly how i view myself, worthless, ugly, a waste of someones time. I am not worthy of being loved by anyone.
I'm convincing myself that whatever i'm not feeling is not depression because well, being a teenager has its ups and downs, maybe i'm just down for a really long time? Here's a list of some signs of depession in teens i pulled of this link : http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen.htm
- Sadness or hopelessness
- Irritability, anger, or hostility
- Tearfulness or frequent crying
- Withdrawal from friends and family
- Loss of interest in activities
- Changes in eating and sleeping habits
- Restlessness and agitation
- Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
- Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
- Fatigue or lack of energy
- Difficulty concentrating
- Thoughts of death or suicide
the ones i've bolded are the ones i have, which is almost all of them. I'm scared, my friends are starting to notice and i don't want them to.
here are some more things that distinguish teen depression from adult depression
- Irritable or angry mood – As noted above, irritability, rather than sadness, is often the predominant mood in depressed teens. A depressed teenager may be grumpy, hostile, easily frustrated, or prone to angry outbursts.
- Unexplained aches and pains - Depressed teens frequently complain about physical ailments such as headaches or stomachaches. If a thorough physical exam does not reveal a medical cause, these aches and pains may indicate depression.
- Extreme sensitivity to criticism - Depressed teens are plagued by feelings of worthlessness, making them extremely vulnerable to criticism, rejection, and failure. This is a particular problem for “over-achievers.”
- Withdrawing from some, but not all people - While adults tend to isolate themselves when depressed, teenagers usually keep up at least some friendships. However, teens with depression may socialize less than before, pull away from their parents, or start hanging out with a different crowd.
Do you think it could be depression? and if it is, how do i tell someone?
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